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 Chain Chain Style !

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Yurei Yagami

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Enter Tracker Here Name : Yurei
Epithet : The Forgotten Knight
Age : 24
Race : Cyborg
Faction : Revolutionary
Crew : Former Member Of The PHS
Ship : N/A
Crew Position : Former Assassin
Haoshoku : 0
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 0
Attack (ATK) : 110
Defense (DEF) : 100
Reflex (RX) : 90
Willpower (WP) : 90
Level : 10
Experience Points : 1068
Bounty : 4,000,000
Berries : 1,550,000
Posts : 38

PostSubject: Chain Chain Style !   Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:16 pm


Chain Style


Fighting Style: Chain Style
Weapon Utilization: Chain
Specialization: Mixture Of Both
Description: Carrying a specialized steel metal large chain that's 100m length and 500lb in weight. The chain can be used as a binding or slashing style of fighting. The chain can even form spikes all around itself when called for and these metal spikes are 5 inches in length.


Techniques


(The following techniques can either be all devil fruit techniques, or a combination of devil fruit, and natural/weapon techniques)

Light Attacks:
 

Medium Attacks:
 

Heavy Attacks:
 

AOE Attacks:
 


[/b]







Last edited by Yurei Yagami on Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:18 pm; edited 13 times in total
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Gray

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TrackerBioFighting StyleEquipment

Name : Gray Starks
Epithet : The Conqueror (Formerly "Black Fist")
Age : 49
Race : Cyborg
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Super Veteran (Former Yonkou)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Destroyed)
Ship : Fistful AKA "The Fist" (Destroyed)
Crew Position : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Haoshoku : 9
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 9
Attack (ATK) : 750
Defense (DEF) : 600
Reflex (RX) : 655
Willpower (WP) : 600
Level : 100
Experience Points : 10000
Bounty : 2,500,000,000
Income Multiplier : +10%
Berries : 25,000,000,000


Posts : 1163

PostSubject: Re: Chain Chain Style !   Mon Apr 10, 2017 5:37 pm

[Comments are in orange.]

@Yurei Yagami wrote:

Chain Style


Fighting Style: Chain Style
Weapon Utilization: Chain
Specialization: Mixture Of Both
Description: Carrying a specialized steel metal large chain that's 10ft in length and 200lbs in weight. The chain can be used as a binding or slashing style of fighting. The chain can even form spikes all around itself when called for and these metal spikes are 5 inches in length.[Keep in mind that with this weapon, it will not make sense for you to bind anyone more than 10 feet away from you. Also, any slashes sent farther than 10 feet from you will become flying slashes.]


Techniques


(The following techniques can either be all devil fruit techniques, or a combination of devil fruit, and natural/weapon techniques)

Light Attacks:
 

Medium Attacks:
 

Heavy Attacks:
 

AOE Attacks:
 






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Yurei Yagami

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Enter Tracker Here Name : Yurei
Epithet : The Forgotten Knight
Age : 24
Race : Cyborg
Faction : Revolutionary
Crew : Former Member Of The PHS
Ship : N/A
Crew Position : Former Assassin
Haoshoku : 0
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 0
Attack (ATK) : 110
Defense (DEF) : 100
Reflex (RX) : 90
Willpower (WP) : 90
Level : 10
Experience Points : 1068
Bounty : 4,000,000
Berries : 1,550,000
Posts : 38

PostSubject: Re: Chain Chain Style !   Mon Apr 10, 2017 7:43 pm

Bumped and ready for checking
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Gray

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TrackerBioFighting StyleEquipment

Name : Gray Starks
Epithet : The Conqueror (Formerly "Black Fist")
Age : 49
Race : Cyborg
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Super Veteran (Former Yonkou)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Destroyed)
Ship : Fistful AKA "The Fist" (Destroyed)
Crew Position : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Haoshoku : 9
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 9
Attack (ATK) : 750
Defense (DEF) : 600
Reflex (RX) : 655
Willpower (WP) : 600
Level : 100
Experience Points : 10000
Bounty : 2,500,000,000
Income Multiplier : +10%
Berries : 25,000,000,000


Posts : 1163

PostSubject: Re: Chain Chain Style !   Mon Apr 10, 2017 8:27 pm

Firstly, you may want to fix your formatting. You might be missing a bold closing tag somewhere.

For your second light technique, the level should 1, not 5.

For your third light technique, reduce the buff and debuff to 25% and increase the cooldown to 12 posts.

The reason why your light technique cooldowns are turning out so high is because you keep trying to give stat buffs and debuffs to them. You don't need to have stat buffs and debuffs for each technique. Those are optional. Damage dealing techniques don't require buffs/debuffs. Sorry if the template was not clear about that.

Even with that knowledge, if you choose to keep the stat buffs and debuffs for the rest of the techniques, apply the following additional corrections plus the light technique corrections mentioned above:

Make the cooldown of both medium attacks 7.

Increase the cooldown of the first heavy technique to 8.



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Yurei Yagami

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Enter Tracker Here Name : Yurei
Epithet : The Forgotten Knight
Age : 24
Race : Cyborg
Faction : Revolutionary
Crew : Former Member Of The PHS
Ship : N/A
Crew Position : Former Assassin
Haoshoku : 0
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 0
Attack (ATK) : 110
Defense (DEF) : 100
Reflex (RX) : 90
Willpower (WP) : 90
Level : 10
Experience Points : 1068
Bounty : 4,000,000
Berries : 1,550,000
Posts : 38

PostSubject: Re: Chain Chain Style !   Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:08 pm

Bumped
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Gray

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TrackerBioFighting StyleEquipment

Name : Gray Starks
Epithet : The Conqueror (Formerly "Black Fist")
Age : 49
Race : Cyborg
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Super Veteran (Former Yonkou)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Destroyed)
Ship : Fistful AKA "The Fist" (Destroyed)
Crew Position : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Haoshoku : 9
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 9
Attack (ATK) : 750
Defense (DEF) : 600
Reflex (RX) : 655
Willpower (WP) : 600
Level : 100
Experience Points : 10000
Bounty : 2,500,000,000
Income Multiplier : +10%
Berries : 25,000,000,000


Posts : 1163

PostSubject: Re: Chain Chain Style !   Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:09 pm

Proofread the formatting before bumping. xD Your formatting is still messed up. (I personally don't care either way but you're the one who's going to have to keep looking at it and cursing yourself once it's locked.)

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Gray

avatar

TrackerBioFighting StyleEquipment

Name : Gray Starks
Epithet : The Conqueror (Formerly "Black Fist")
Age : 49
Race : Cyborg
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Super Veteran (Former Yonkou)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Destroyed)
Ship : Fistful AKA "The Fist" (Destroyed)
Crew Position : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Haoshoku : 9
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 9
Attack (ATK) : 750
Defense (DEF) : 600
Reflex (RX) : 655
Willpower (WP) : 600
Level : 100
Experience Points : 10000
Bounty : 2,500,000,000
Income Multiplier : +10%
Berries : 25,000,000,000


Posts : 1163

PostSubject: Re: Chain Chain Style !   Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:19 pm


@Yurei Yagami wrote:

Chain Style


Fighting Style: Chain Style
Weapon Utilization: Chain
Specialization: Mixture Of Both
Description: Carrying a specialized steel metal large chain that's 100m length and 500lb in weight. The chain can be used as a binding or slashing style of fighting. The chain can even form spikes all around itself when called for and these metal spikes are 5 inches in length.


Techniques


(The following techniques can either be all devil fruit techniques, or a combination of devil fruit, and natural/weapon techniques)

Light Attacks:
 

Medium Attacks:
 

Heavy Attacks:
 

AOE Attacks:
 


[/b]






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